New Job

It is day 2 of the new job at Network 23. I've got a kick-ass office, free coffee, a more emotionaly stable administrative assistant and a smaller commute.

They haven't given me anything to do. I filled out some HR forms, read three packets of old docs and PowerPoint, and then just basically have been killing time.

What does killing time consist of for a guy like me?

I studied up on Radon and Hough transforms.

I read a few pages of a book on how to learn C#.

I read the last couple of comics at Penny Arcade.

I reverified that I can shove my pinkie finger all the way into my nose.

I read the LA Times online.

And now I'm going to watch the clock for 51 minutes and then go home.

Roommates

There is no toilet paper in the bathroom. There hasn't been any for two days.

But I'm not going to break down and buy any. I bought the last 32 rolls. It is someone else's turn.

Muhuhuwahaha!

The Coming Farewell

They always say that you need to make gradual changes in your life. Dramatic changes never stick.

I've tried many time to make gradual changes in my life, but, it doesn't seem to work for me. I think I'm going to try a different strategy. I'm going to make many tremendous changes in my life and then see which ones stick.

The hardest of the planned changes is to cut down on my computer use at home. I'm a complete and total net addict, and it is distracting my from taking care of my real-world life.

Over the last couple of weeks I've been wondering if I could do something less dramatic than a complete internet break that would still be an effective change for the better.

I came up with a couple of options: I could use a Linux box with no X-windows. Hmmm. I didn't trust my willpower there. X is just an rpm or an apt-get away, and then comes Mozilla. Then I thought I could do something more dramatic, like get a VT420. That would force me to avoid YouTube, Adult Swim, and the like. But over the past couple of days, I've been clicking all over researching the VT420 option: where to get one, where to get a USB to RJ-11 cable. Terminfo. Ncurses. Screen.

See, even trying to reduce my computer obsession has become a computer obsession in and of itself.

There is only one way forward. A complete break.

I am reminded of the movie Train Spotting, where a guy is talking about giving up heroin.

RENTON: This was to be my final hit. But let's be clear about this: there's final hits and final hits. What kind was this to be? Some final hits are actually terminal one way or another, while others are merely transit points as you travel from station to station on the junky journey through junky life.

Maybe I need just one final hit. God of War II, perhaps.

St Patrick's Day

Down to Old World in Huntington Beach, which is close to the old neighborhood, to watch the Dachshund races and then drink beer with Jeff and his friends.

I like Jeff. He's an upbeat guy and a good talker. A few posts ago, I was lamenting how I lacked the types of friends that can sit and chat over a beer.

I'm surprised the Old World has survived the last twenty years of gentrification and homogenization in Orange County. It is still just as quirky and unique as it always was.

And there were a lot of hot guys there as well: fit, scruffy, tattooed guys. My favorite.

Derived Requirements III

I slept way late today, unused to the time change. I made it into work, but, accomplished nothing. Unable to focus on my dull writing tasks, I just clicked around the net.

All the time, my brain is twitching and buzzing. Put me in front of a computer and I'll zip from webpage to webpage, endlessly. My attention span has degraded to that of a hummingbird.

To move forward with the SSP, I'll need to fix this, to slow down the buzzing and start thinking again in real time. Only then will I have the concentration necessary to focus on myself.

To do that will take drastic action. I'm an information addict, and my thirst for endless tidbits of useless information never ends. I'll info-graze until my brain's stomachs burst.

Can I still have a computer in my house when I begin my training for the SSP? If it is there, especially when I take the TV away, will I be able to restrain myself?

I don't think so.

I have a possible solution, but, it is so bizarre I dare mention it.

In any case, the TV has to stay until my roommates leave. It is part of the deal. Nayo (miserable cow) should be gone in 3 weeks, and Navjit soon after.

In summary. TV must go. Computer probably must go. Must buy alarm clock.

VT510? Or am I being stupidzor?

Derived Requirements II

So a port-mortem on my Saturday. What kept me from doing something productive.

I watched a lot of mindless TV: Legion of Super Heroes, Ask This Old House, New Scandinavian Cooking with Andreas Viestad, Mexico: One Plate at a Time, Never Been Kissed, The Italian Job.

I listened to a lot of internet radio: Saturday Live, The Food Program, and Excess Baggage from BBC Radio 4, the Weekend Report on the Radio Netherlands.

I browsed the web aimlessly: Slashdot, OSNews, YouTube.

Things I did not do: eat breakfast, cook any food, pay any bills, exercise.

Clearly TV is the top temptation, so that has to go. But maybe the computer has to go as well.

But if the computer goes, I can't blog about it, and if I don't blog about it, does it really happen? If a someone sees a tree fall in the woods and doesn't blog about it, did it really happen? Or does it become like Schrodinger's Tree?

Derived Requirements

In the last post, I listed my 12 requirements to begin my Super Secret Plan, aka the SSP.

Last night, Fabiano and I sat at the bar of the Golden Gopher downtown, talking about parts of the plan. We were unfashionably early, there about 9pm, so we got to sit up at the bar drinking beers.

Fab and I have been at the Gopher a couple of times now, and I really like it. The idea that I can go to a pub with a mate of mine to chat about life over a couple of beers is really cool. Very much like my British life. It seems like such a normal and necessary part of a guy's life, but, no one else in my life does this. All my other friends are recovering alcoholics that don't drink, full on alcoholics that can't just have a beer without ending up with a DUI, strange kids that don't like beer, guys that just can't talk about their lives because they don't have lives or don't want to talk about themselves, family men with kids and wives that aren't allowed out of the house, or people that live a million miles away.

Having a quick pint with your buds after work is one of the elements of community. California has no community.

Anyway, talking about the SSP, I've begun to realize that there are many derived requirements. The term "Derived requirements" is contractor-speak for things that you don't directly want, but are consequences of the decisions you've made.

Like this one...

If I am to do the 12 requirements for the SSP, the television has to go, the Playstation has to go. It may be that all the tech needs to go, so that I try living in the real world, instead of just watching it.

The journey ends, the journey begins

After 8 years of dedicated work, I have announced my intention to leave Giant Robot and Megatech behind and begin a new chapter in my life.

Yesterday was my last face to face with the assembled scientists of the United Nations. My final reports were routine and uncontroversial. I stood at the front of the conference room, flipping through my usually unadorned black and white PowerPoint slides, stepping the assemblage through a set of agreements, minor algorithm tweaks, and identification of future problems.

I had thought for a second that I might say goodbye to the group. I've stared at these faces for 8 years, trying to sound interested and interesting when it was my turn to speak. Trying to sound calm and intelligent despite inner excitement, boredom, anger, or cynicism. As I wrapped up, Megatech's Technical Director hurried me off so that we could head to lunch. I was minorly deflated that I didn't get to use my goodbye speech, but, in truth I did not think the U.N. think enough of me as an individual to care. I was just another talking head in our bi-monthly barrage of Power Point poisoning.

The speech would have been "As some already know, this will be my last time addressing this group. I wanted to say that it has been an honor and a privilege for me to have worked with such talented people on such a noble cause."

Now, with two weeks left, I have a ton of stuff to do. Final documents to write. Final analyses to complete. Giant Robot v6.0 is due out soon, and there is so much work to do.

With some amount of ego, I feel that my presence will be missed. I was pretty good at my job, and I think many of the team feel actual affection for me. Certainly it will be hard to find another robot scientist that can do what I can do for the salary that MegaTech paid me.

But, these past eight years seem almost like a detour on my hero's journey. Soon, I need to get back in earnest to the preparation for the Super Secret Plan, or the SSP.

First, I need a list.

For the SSP, I need to be able to do the following...

1. Bike 56 miles at pace.
2. Run 13.1 miles at pace.
3. Swim 1.2 miles at pace.
3. Bench press 150 lb.
4. 10 pull ups.
5. Learn some Arabic
6. Learn some Chinese
7. Learn to box
8. Get wicked tattoos
9. Practice rock climbing
10. Save $25,000
11. Get house ready to rent.
12. Have sex with someone hot.

Possible I may also need to
* Learn some French
* Get a secret lair
* Learn to sail

I'll need to update the list as the SSP becomes more concrete.